Osho –
Dhammapada: The Way of The Buddha (Volume 8)
Chapter 12. Rivers
don't exist
Question 1:
Beloved Master,
How can you, as a man, talk about the
feminine psyche? How do you know that god is a he?
Gudrun Hofmann, I am not
talking as a man, I am not talking as a woman. I am not talking as a mind at
all. The mind is used, but I am talking as consciousness, as awareness. And
awareness is neither he nor she, awareness is neither man nor woman.
Your body has that division and
your mind too, because your mind is your inner part of the body and your body
is the outer part of your mind. Your body and mind are not separate; they are
one entity. In fact, to say body and mind is not right; 'and' should not be
used. You are bodymind - not even a hyphen between the two.
Hence, with the body, with the
mind, 'masculine', 'feminine' - these words are relevant, meaningful. But there
is something beyond them both; there is something transcendental. That is your
real core, your being. That being consists only of awareness, of witnessing, of
watchfulness. It is pure consciousness.
I am not talking here as a man;
otherwise it is impossible to talk about the woman. I am talking as awareness.
I have lived in the feminine body many times and I have lived in the masculine
body many times, and I have witnessed all. I have seen all the houses, I have
seen all the garments. What I am saying to you is the conclusion of many many
lives; it has not to do with only this life. This life is only a culmination of
a long long pilgrimage.
So don't listen to me as a man
or a woman; otherwise you will not be listening to me.
Listen to me as awareness.
Secondly, you say, "How do
you know that God is a he?"
God is neither he nor she. God
simply means the totality of consciousness in existence.
God simply means life eternal.
Life expresses in two ways, man and woman. God is the unmanifest source of
life; you cannot call him "he," you cannot call him "she."
But because for centuries the word 'he' has been used, I go on using it. You
have to remember that I don't mean it.
If you really want to go deep
into the phenomenon of God, then God does not exist at all - as a person. God
is only a presence. In other words, there is no God but only godliness: a
quality that pervades, permeates, the whole of existence; that is everywhere,
in every leaf, in every dewdrop. It is a quality. Once you start thinking of
God as a quality, your whole outlook on life, on religion, on love, will be
totally different.
Existence consists not of nouns
but of verbs. Nouns are inventions of man and so are pronouns. Verbs are real.
When you say "a river" what do you mean? Have you ever seen a river
as a noun? The river is always flowing, it is always a movement. It is never
static, it is dynamic. How can you make it a static noun? The word 'river'
seems to be static.
If you ask the buddhas, the
awakened ones, they will say, "Rivers don't exist." But you see the
river flowing by! The flow is there, a kind of rivering is there, but no river.
You see so many trees, but in fact what exists is a kind of treeing, not trees,
because every tree is changing every moment. The time that you will take in
using the word 'tree', the tree is no more the same. A few old leaves have
fallen, a few new leaves have started coming out, a flower has opened up, a bud
is getting ready to open. There is great activity; the tree is constantly in
momentum.
The whole existence consists of
verbs, and God is nothing but the totality of all these verbs. God is not a
quantity but a quality, not a person but a presence. God is an experience, not
an object of experience but experience itself. God is subjectivity. And how can
you call subjectivity "he" or "she"?
I know why the question has
arisen. All over the world, particularly in the West, the liberated woman is
asking, "Why call God 'he'?" And she is right, in a way. Why make God
identified with the masculine mind? It is a kind of male chauvinistic approach.
For centuries, the male has dominated everything, hence he has called God
"he." And the rebellion against it is absolutely right.
But to start calling God
"she" will not put things right; it will be moving to the other
extreme. That will be another kind of chauvinism, it won't change anything.
Simply the wrong that man was doing will be done by woman; both are wrong. God
is neither.
Hence in the East, where for ten
thousand years hundreds of people have arrived to the ultimate pinnacle of
experiencing godliness, we don't call God "he" or "she," we
call him "it." That is far more beautiful because it takes God beyond
he and she. But something has to be called, and whatsoever words are used are
going to be inadequate - he, she, it - because the word 'it' has also its own
dangers. 'It' seems to be dead because we use it for things, and God is not a
thing either. 'It' seems to be too neutral, and God is not neutral; he is
tremendously committed, involved. 'It' seems to be lifeless, and God is life
itself, love itself. Any word will have its own limitations.
So you can use any word - he,
she, it - but remember, all words are limited and God is unlimited. If you use
these words mindfully, then there is no danger. The basic remembrance is that
God is a presence, otherwise many foolish questions arise.
If you call him "he"
or "she," then the question arises, "Where does he live? Where
is he?" And then the question seems to be very relevant because you have
reduced him to a person; then where is his dwelling?
"Where is the dwelling of
God?"
This was the question with
which the rabbi of Kotzk surprised a number of learned men who happened to be
visiting him.
They laughed at him, "What
a thing to ask! Is not the whole world full of His glory?"
Then he answered his own
question: "God dwells wherever man lets him in."
There is no dwelling outside
somewhere. Whenever you allow yourself, you open up to existence, whenever you
allow the wind and the rain and the sun to reach to your innermost core,
suddenly there is God, godliness. Suddenly you are overwhelmed by something
bigger than you, by something which is oceanic. You start disappearing into it
like a dewdrop.
The moment we say, "God is
a person," then we start praying, praising. That is a kind of bribery.
That is a kind of buttressing his ego. If God is a person he must have an ego.
Then praise him and he will be
happy with you, and you will be rewarded either here or hereafter. The moment
we think of God as a person we start searching for him not IN the world but
somewhere far away in heaven, and we miss the whole point. God is now-here, God
is nowhere else.
There is a tale that a man
inspired by God once went out from the creaturely realms into the vast waste.
There he wandered till he came to the Gates of Mystery. He knocked.
From within came the cry,
"What do you want here?"
He said, "I have
proclaimed your praise in the ears of mortals, but they are deaf to me, so I
come to you that you yourself may hear me and reply."
"Turn back!" came the
cry from within. "Here is no ear for you. I have sunk my hearing in the
deafness of mortals."
God is in the stones, God is in
the waters, God is in the animals, God is in the birds, God is in people, in
sinners, in saints. God is equivalent to isness. Now, is isness he or she?
The question will be utterly
meaningless.
So don't be worried whether God
is he or she. Rather, look within yourself and find the place where he and she
both disappear. And that will be the beginning of your understanding of
reality, of what it is.
This thing cannot be decided by
argumentation. It is not a metaphysical question, it is something existential.
If you can find something within yourself which is neither masculine nor
feminine, then you will know that there is something in existence which is
neither, which is beyond both. And that beyondness is God.
Question 2:
Beloved Master,
I am sixty years old, but yet the same
desires persist. What is the matter with me?
Narayandas, growing old is not
growing up. Time by itself does not bring wisdom. Yes, it brings many
experiences, but experiences by themselves cannot deliver wisdom to you.
Wisdom is a totally different
phenomenon. It does not happen through experiences of the outside world. It
happens when you become centered within your being, when you become rooted in
your being, when you become integrated, when you are no more a crowd and you
become a crystallized soul.
Desires can't disappear just
because you have become sixty years old. You can be six hundred years old and
desires will be there, in fact more, because they will be also six hundred
years old. Your desires are sixty years old; they have gone deep in you in sixty
years.
People have this idea that when
you are young you suffer from desires, when you are old you go beyond them.
Just by being old? That is ridiculous! You don't go beyond desires just by
being old. You simply become a hypocrite; you start pretending that you have
gone beyond desires. Maybe you can't go into desires because there is no energy
available, but the mind thinks more and more. Because you can't do anything,
your whole energy becomes cerebral. The young person can do something about his
desires; you cannot do, so you only think.
And as death starts coming
closer and closer, a great fear arises: so many desires are there which are
unfulfilled. You become afraid: if death comes and takes you away... It is
bound to happen sooner or later, and the possibility is of sooner than later.
All those desires start taking possession of you. "Fulfill us," they
say. "Time is short. Do something." You start going crazy. You
continuously become obsessed.
A moralist addressing an
audience thundered, "Remember, my friends, when temptation comes your way
you must resist it - resist it!"
"I would like to,"
said one of the old men, "but I am always afraid it may never come
again."
That fear is natural. Death may
come before the temptation comes again. Who knows? - - it may not come again.
The old man becomes more and
more afraid of losing his desires.
It is not an accident that
Buddha introduced a new idea into the world of sannyas. He started initiating
young people into sannyas. In India, the tradition was that you should take
sannyas only when you are very old, after seventy-five years - the fourth
stage, when you have done everything and only death is left. Then take sannyas.
That was the idea and it was a very comfortable idea, a very cozy idea.
In the first place, very few
people are going to live beyond seventy-five, particularly in those days and in
India. Even today very few people will live beyond seventy-five, so there is no
fear of living after seventy-five and becoming a sannyasin. And if by chance
you happen to live after seventy-five, all your energies will be already
wasted, gone down the drain. Whether you take sannyas or not you will be a
sannyasin, so why not take it?
People after seventy-five years
used to take the vow of celibacy. You see the foolishness of it!
A man used to come to
Ramakrishna each religious festival and he would give a big feast. He was a
nonvegetarian, and many animals would be cut up for the feast. He was very
rich. Then suddenly all those feasts stopped. There was one great festival and
the feast was not happening, and the man had come to see Ramakrishna.
Ramakrishna asked, "What
happened? Why are you not celebrating this feast? Have you become irreligious
or something? Are you no more interested in your religion?"
He said, "That is not the
point. My teeth have fallen out. And when I cannot eat, why should I
bother?"
The feast was not for any
religious reasons; the feast was simply because he wanted to enjoy. Religion
was just an excuse.
People can take the oath of celibacy
after seventy-five, so they are saving both the worlds. They have enjoyed this
world and now they are creating a bank balance in the other. They are becoming
virtuous so cheaply that it is all false.
Buddha introduced the idea that
young people should become sannyasins. Then it is something significant. When a
young person goes beyond sex, when a young person goes beyond desires, when a
young person goes beyond greed, ambition, the longing to be powerful, the
ambition to be famous, then it is something tremendously meaningful,
significant.
Remember one thing: when you
are young you have energies. Those energies can take you to hell and those same
energies can take you to heaven. Energies are neutral; it depends on you how
you use them.
So the first thing: just by
becoming an old person does not mean that you have become wise. Wisdom needs
meditation not worldly experience. Worldly experience makes you more cunning;
hence it is very difficult to find an old man who is not cunning. You can find
a young man who is not cunning; you can find many children. In fact, almost all
the children are innocent, they are not cunning. They have not known anything
of the world. They have not learned tricks, strategies, politics, diplomacy.
They are simply whatsoever they are - they are authentic. As they grow more and
more, as they become acquainted with the world and all the hypocrisy around,
naturally they start becoming part of the world. They start learning the same
kind of strategies.
By the time a person becomes
old he becomes very cunning - not wise, not intelligent.
Remember: if you were stupid
when you were a child you will be more stupid when you are old. You will have a
long, long-rooted stupidity in you with great foliage and flowers and fruits.
Whatsoever you have will grow with your age. If you meditate then meditation
will grow. But just by becoming old you cannot be wise.
The ex-captain's wife paid a
visit to a doctor who had achieved fame in the successful treatment of
impotency. His method consisted of convincing the male patient he had the
virility of a horse. The doctor consented to treat the woman's husband.
A few weeks later the doctor
met the woman on the street, "Have you noticed the change you wanted in
your husband?" he asked.
"No," replied the
woman, "but he just won the Derby!"
Now, a stupid old man...! If
you tell him that "You are a horse," you can't expect anything else!
He will become a horse; he will become hypnotized with the idea.
Intelligence is a totally
different phenomenon; intelligence cannot be hypnotized. An intelligent person
cannot be Hindu, cannot be Mohammedan, cannot be Christian - impossible,
because these are all tricks, hypnotic tricks. People are being hypnotized from
their very childhood that "You are a Hindu." A constant repetition
that "You are a Hindu" makes you a Hindu. It is nothing else but a
conditioning. A wise man becomes unconditioned.
So the first thing I will
suggest to you, Narayandas: become unconditioned. Whatsoever your sixty years'
life has conditioned you for, drop it. That's what your mind is: the
accumulated conditionings. Drop them!
And the beginning of meditation
is when you start dropping your conditionings. A moment comes when you become
unconditioned again, like a child. Then your intelligence explodes. And an
intelligent person cannot desire, that is impossible, because desiring only
brings misery, frustration. Desiring only creates anxiety, anguish; it never
brings any fulfillment, never any contentment.
An intelligent person cannot go
on desiring. His very intelligence is enough and desiring disappears - not that
he renounces, remember. Only fools renounce.
Intelligent people don't
renounce the world. They live in the world, but they live intelligently,
without desiring. Whatsoever comes on their way they enjoy, but they don't
hanker for anything. Their sleep remains undisturbed; they don't dream for
anything. They don't project for the future, they live in the present.
Yes, Narayandas, you are
becoming old, but don't hope that just by becoming old you will become wise
enough and desires will disappear on their own accord.
She lay in bed, blissfully
happy on this, the first morning of her long-dreamed-of honeymoon.
"Darling," she called
as she heard him puttering around in the bathroom, "did you brush your
teeth yet?"
"Yes," he cooed,
"and while I was at it, I brushed yours too."
Yes, old you can become, but
just by becoming old nothing is achieved.
Real growth happens inwards. It
is a transformation of your interiority. And now that you are here, forget
those sixty years and all the nightmares that you must have passed through
those sixty years. Start your life afresh from the very beginning again.
Jesus says: Unless you are born
again you will not be able to enter into my kingdom of God. And he is
absolutely right. You need a new birth; you have to be twice-born. And to be
with a master is a rebirth. It is initiation into the inner world.
Sixty years you have wasted on
the outside, accumulating money, accumulating this and that, trying to be
respectable, famous, powerful. Now get out of all those stupid games - no more
games! Now let there be a single-pointed search for the truth: the truth that
you are, the truth that resides in you, the truth that you are made of, the
truth of your consciousness.
My whole effort here is to help
you towards self-knowledge. It does not need time; it needs intensity,
sincerity. It needs commitment. It needs a tremendous effort to go in, because
those sixty years you have created so many things on the outside which will
hinder you from going in. They have become walls. You have become unbridged to
your own self.
You ask me, "I am sixty
years old, but yet the same desires persist."
Good that you have become aware
of it, that the same desires are still there. There are many people who are not
aware; they have repressed their desires so deeply that even they themselves
have become unaware of them. Good that you are aware. The first ray of
intelligence... that you are aware that the same desires persist.
And you ask, "What is the
matter with me?"
Nothing is the matter with you;
it is the same with everybody. One phase of your life is over. Now it is time
to grow into another dimension. Sixty years is enough time to know about the
world and all that it offers - or at least promises to offer. You have known
it, and it is only by knowing it that one becomes aware of the deceptiveness of
it all. You have seen the illusion - now turn in. Now become a sannyasin! You
have been a worldly man up to now. And by a worldly man I simply mean one who
is absolutely unaware of himself and is concerned about trivia - money, power,
prestige.
And I call the person a
sannyasin who becomes deeply interested in his own life's source, who starts
asking, "Who am I?" and who starts moving towards his center. From
the circumference he changes his abode towards the center.
The day you reach to your
center is the day of great blessings, the day of great enlightenment. That day
you transcend life and death. That day you transcend man/woman. That day you
transcend all dualities. That day, for the first time, you will taste what
bliss is.
Question 3:
Beloved Master,
Why are you against following someone who
knows the secrets of life? What is the need to discover them oneself on one's
own?
Sudhakar, truth cannot be
transferred. That is one of the intrinsic qualities of truth:
nobody can give it to you. Yes,
words can be given to you, theories can be given to you, theologies can be
given to you, but not truth. Following somebody you will be following his
words. Following somebody you will become a Jaina, a Mohammedan, a Buddhist,
but you will never become your own self.
And Buddha is a unique
individual just as you are. What did he do? Try to understand it; that may be
helpful in your journey. But don't follow him literally; otherwise that will
make you only phony, that will make you only pseudo. Existence never repeats
anybody. Jesus comes only once, Buddha comes only once. There has never been a
person like Buddha before and will never be again, for the simple reason that
existence never repeats.
You are a totally new
manifestation of God. It has never been before so there has never been a person
exactly like you. So whomsoever you follow, you will be following somebody who
is not like you and you will get into trouble. You can cultivate a certain
character around you, you can act, but by acting you are not going to become a
buddha.
That's what the Buddhist monks
have been doing for twenty-five centuries - acting, performing, literally
following. The way Buddha walks they will walk, the way Buddha eats they will
eat, the way Buddha sits they will sit. You can do all these things and it is
possible you may do them even better than Buddha, because Buddha was not imitating
anybody else; he was spontaneous. When a person is spontaneous he has no time
to rehearse it; you will have enough time to rehearse. You may even defeat
Buddha in a competition.
It actually happened once:
Friends of Charlie Chaplin were
celebrating one of his birthdays and they found a beautiful way to celebrate
it. They advertised in the newspapers all over England that there will be a
competition and whosoever can imitate Charlie Chaplin will be rewarded. There
were three big awards.
Many people participated. At
least a hundred were chosen from different cities and they all gathered in
London for the final selection of the three winners.
Charlie Chaplin had an idea. He
entered in the competition from a different town hoping that he was going to win
the first prize - there was no question about it. But he was wrong; he got the
second prize! People came to know only later on that he was also a participant.
He was so surprised that somebody managed better than himself.
Naturally, the other had practiced
it for a long time. Charlie Chaplin was just there being himself; there was no
need to practice. He is Charlie Chaplin, so why practice?
What is there to practice? But
the other was more polished, more practiced. He walked better than Charlie
Chaplin, he talked better than Charlie Chaplin! He outdid him.
This is possible. Some
Christian monk may defeat Jesus, some Buddhist monk may defeat Buddha. But
still, Buddha is Buddha and you will be only an imitator. Still, Charlie
Chaplin is Charlie Chaplin and the man who was acting even in a better way is
just acting; deep down he is himself.
You can never be somebody else.
Remember it as one of the most fundamental laws.
Aes Dhammo Sanantano - this is
the eternal law: you can never be like somebody else. That does not mean you
should not learn. Learn, but don't follow.
Absorb, but go on your own way.
Learn from all the enlightened ones. Sit at their feet, absorb their presence,
but go on your own way.
Buddha himself said as his last
statement on the earth: Be a light unto yourself.
A squirrel on the ground was
watching two other squirrels in a tree.
One of them fell to the ground,
bounced a couple of times, looked back up in the tree and said, "That
making love in the tree is for the birds."
That's why I say don't follow.
Don't try to make love in the tree - that is for the birds! - otherwise you
will be in the hospital.
A little boy and girl squirrel
were chattering and playing around when suddenly a fox appeared. The girl
squirrel dashed up a tree but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground.
"That's strange,"
said the fox. "Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run up the nearest
tree."
"Listen," said the
boy squirrel. "Did you ever try to climb a tree after playing with a girl
for twenty minutes?"
Just look to your own
situation! Buddha has a different space, different context, a different world.
You cannot follow him - literally you cannot follow him.
Metaphorically you can
understand him and you can be tremendously benefited by him.
You ask me, Sudhakar, "Why
are you against following someone who knows the secrets of life?"
How do you know that someone
knows the secrets of life? That is just a belief. Unless YOU know the secrets
of life, you will never know that someone else knows them. And following
somebody just out of belief you may be getting into trouble. He may not know at
all. He may be a convincing talker; he may be arguing better than you can
argue. He can silence you in argument; that does not mean that he knows. He may
be more articulate than you are, he may have studied the scriptures. Even the
Devil can quote the scriptures! How do you know that he knows the secrets of
life? You can know only if you also know.
You can understand Buddha
really only when you are also a buddha. You can understand Christ only when you
are also a christ - not by following them but by becoming awakened on your own
accord.
Hence I say there is the need
to discover the truth by yourself. The inner truth is different from the outer
truth. The outer truth can be discovered by one person and then the whole world
possesses it. For example, the theory of relativity was discovered by Albert
Einstein. Now everybody else need not discover it again and again; that will be
just wasting time. He took years to discover it; now if you are intelligent you
can understand it within days. If you are really intelligent, then within
hours. There is no need to waste years in discovering it again and again.
Somebody discovered - Newton
discovered - the law of gravitation. Now you need not go and sit in a garden
and wait for the apple to fall and then brood over it and then come to the
conclusion that there must be a certain magnetic force in the earth which pulls
things downwards. Now, if everybody has to do that there are not so many
gardens and there are not so many apple trees, and apples may not oblige you.
You may go on sitting under the tree for hours, days, months; they may not
fall.
And do you know, even before
Newton they used to fall and thousands of people must have watched them
falling, but nobody discovered the law of gravitation. So there is no certainty
that even if they oblige you and fall in the right time that you will discover
the law of gravitation. There is no need - Newton has done it for you, for all,
forever.
This is the quality of the
outer, objective truth: once discovered it becomes universal.
The inner truth has a totally
different quality: it always remains individual, it never becomes universal.
Buddha discovers it but he
cannot convey it; he cannot adequately express it, he cannot make it universal.
It remains essentially individual. And whatsoever he does is just inadequate;
it never fulfills the great need of the masses - that they need not discover it
anymore. Buddha has discovered it, Jesus has discovered it; now you can simply
follow it.
This is the beauty of the inner
truth, that you have to discover it again and again afresh.
And the very discovery is such
a bliss that it is good that one person has not finished it forever; otherwise
there would have been no spiritual quest left. Buddha is not the first; there
had been other awakened people before him. One enlightened person would have
done it and then in every primary school you could teach it to everybody. The
whole joy of discovering it would have been lost. It is beautiful that the
subjective truth remains individual. Thousands of times it has been discovered,
but it has not become universal yet and it will never become universal; it will
remain individual. You will have to seek and search it on your own.
And when you find it you will
be surprised: it is the same truth that was found by Buddha, it is the same
truth that was found by Mahavira, the same truth that was found by Mohammed or
Moses; it is not a different truth. But this is the quality of the inner world
- that you have to go there all alone. Nobody can accompany you and nobody can
give you ready-made maps.
It is a very mysterious world
inside; the outside world is not so mysterious, maps are possible. But the
inner world remains a secret, a hidden secret. Even when you have known it and
you would like to share it you cannot. All that you can share is your desire to
share, that's all - your deep compassion to share, your love for others. But
the truth remains as unexpressed as before.
Then why do masters speak at
all? They speak not to share the truth - they know perfectly well it cannot be
shared. They speak to make your thirst for truth aflame. They speak to make you
more thirsty, more hungry. They speak to create a tremendous longing in you to
go inwards. Their presence, their vibe, their song, their dance, all indicate
towards one thing: go in.
Question 4:
Beloved Master,
I don't want to die and yet I am here with
you. Am I crazy?
Prem Svarupo, sane people don't
come here, because the so-called sane people are the most insane in the world.
The sane people are those who crucified Jesus. The sane people are those who
poisoned Socrates. The sane people are those who made many efforts to kill
Buddha. The sane people are in politics; they don't come to the enlightened
ones, to the awakened ones. Only crazy people can come - but these crazy
people, in the real sense, are the sanest.
It is a paradox. The people who
followed Jesus must have been crazy - they were crazy.
Everybody was saying that they
were crazy. The people who followed Buddha must have been crazy. Even Buddha's
father was saying to people, "You are crazy! He is crazy and you are
crazy! He has renounced his kingdom - he is a fool. And now so many people are
renouncing and going with him. What can you find in the jungles?
Sitting under trees with closed
eyes, what can you find? If you want to do something, do it in the world. If
you want to find something, find it in the world."
When Buddha came back to his
home after his enlightenment, his father was very angry and he said, "You are
crazy, but I can forgive you because I have the heart of the father."
Buddha laughed and he said,
"First say everything that you wanted to tell me all these twelve years I
have not been here in the house. You must have accumulated much anger - you
first cathart! When you have thrown all the garbage out, then there is a
possibility to communicate something to you."
The father was shocked. What is
he saying? It was not expected at all! For a moment there was silence. And
Buddha said, "Just look at me. I am not the same person who had gone. I am
a totally different person because my inner being has changed. I am reborn. I
am not your son anymore. I am not this body and I am not this mind either. I
have attained to the beyond.
"So first throw out all
your anger so that you can see me, so that your eyes are clear enough to
recognize the change that has happened in me - a radical change. The person
that had gone has died, and the person that has come today is a totally
different person - of course in the same continuum. Hence I look the same way
from the outside only; from the inside I am not the same at all."
Svarupo, you are crazy! All of
my sannyasins are crazy. Only crazy people can be religious - crazy in the eyes
of the world but not crazy in the eyes of the awakened ones, because in the
eyes of the awakened ones the world is insane. The world is a big madhouse; you
have escaped from it. You are learning how to be sane, how to be saner.
You ask me, "I don't want
to die, and yet I am here with you."
This happens to everybody. When
you come here you start learning a new language, the language of
transformation. You start seeing a new truth: that if the ego dies, then you
will be really born. If the ego is dropped, then God can enter in you. The ego
is the barrier.
When you come here for the
first time, you come for improvement, for growth - not to die. But slowly
slowly, you start understanding that growth is possible only if first you allow
a certain death: the death of the ego.
Then fear grips you and a
contradiction arises in you, a double bind. The intelligent part of you starts
saying, "Die - don't waste time." And the unintelligent part - your
past - says, "What are you doing? Are you crazy? Who knows what will
happen after death? If you drop your personality and your ego, how will you
keep yourself together? You may start falling apart! How will you control
yourself?" You are afraid of so many things that can happen to you if the
control is lost.
Hence you start doing a very
contradictory work: on one hand you dismantle yourself, and on the other hand
you put yourself together again. This can continue for years.
The fashionably dressed girl
these days wears pants to make her look like a boy, and see-through blouses
just to prove that she is not.
This is a double bind! And this
is bound to happen.
Sooner or later, one day,
Svarupo, you will have to take a decisive step. You will have to come out of
this double bind, because this is wasting time, energy, opportunity. Who knows?
I may not be here tomorrow - or the next moment. This opportunity may be lost.
Right now the door is open and I am beckoning you, "Come in!"
Tomorrow the door may disappear and there will be nobody to beckon you to come
in. And then you will suffer much, then you will be in deep anguish. Then you
will cry and weep for the spilt milk.
Right now is the time to listen
to the call, to the challenge. I am a challenge, a call: a challenge of the unknown
calling you towards the uncharted sea. I know you are afraid and I know that to
leave the shelter of the shore is difficult. You have lived on the shore so
long and you have made such a beautiful hut. So cozy it is there, with no fear
of the waves and the ocean and the dangers of the unknown. You seem to be very
secure there, and I am calling you, "Come out of your cozy security!"
- because it is just a deception.
Death is bound to destroy all.
Before death destroys, take the decisive step on your own accord. Move into the
unknown. Before death kills you, let the ego be killed by you yourself. Then
there will be no death for you, then you can transcend all death.
Great courage, of course, is
needed, but if you have taken the courage to be a sannyasin, now don't look
backwards. For the sannyasin there is no way to look backwards. Listen to the
challenge and go wholeheartedly towards it.
Yes, it will look more and more
crazy because you will see you are committing a kind of suicide. But once you
have committed the suicide - the suicide of the ego - you will be surprised: to
live in the ego was real suicide and to get out of it is to attain to absolute
freedom. Buddha calls that freedom nirvana.
Question 5:
Beloved Master,
Why are you always talking and telling
jokes about the Jews?
Why not about Indians?
Shankara, Indians don't have
jokes. They are such holy people, you know, so spiritual!
They don't have any sense of
humor. I have never come across a single originally Indian joke. All the jokes
are imported. Sometimes I wonder why the government allows it! On everything
else there is great taxation; only jokes can be imported and you don't have to
pay three hundred percent tax on them. Indians don't have jokes, hence it is very
difficult to tell Indian jokes.
And Jews are the most rich in
jokes; they have the best jokes. They are very earthly people, just the
opposite of the Indians. Indians have this nonsense of being very holy, and
Jews are very earthly people. Their religion is also very earthly. They don't
have any idea of renouncing the world. Their rabbis are not celibates; their
rabbis are as ordinary as anybody else. This is something beautiful - I
appreciate it. These hierarchies should disappear. The greatest snobbishness
exists in the minds of the so- called religious people. And India is very
snobbish; hence they have not created any jokes.
Jews are earthly people,
ordinary people. They have enjoyed their ordinariness, and they have a great
sense of humor. In fact, their sense of humor has been a great blessing to
them; otherwise, they have suffered so much... For two thousand years they have
been suffering all over the world. Without that sense of humor they would not
have survived. Their sense of humor has helped them survive, has helped them to
always resurrect again and again. They have been crushed and killed and
destroyed, and yet their spirit has come back again. They could laugh at
misery, at suffering. Laughter has been a great boon.
And it is very difficult to
change a Jewish joke into anything else! Sometimes I try, but it loses its
beauty.
A man said to a friend,
"Let me tell you a joke."
"Okay," said the
friend.
"Well, a Jewish man was
walking down the street when he ran into..."
"Stop!" cried the friend.
"Why are you always telling jokes about Jews?"
"Okay, okay, I will tell
it differently. A Chinaman is walking down the street when he runs into another
Chinaman. 'Are you coming to my son's bar mitzvah?' he asked."
It is very difficult to change
the joke. Jewish jokes have a flavor of their own, and if you translate them,
they lose that flavor; they become flat.
And why are you worried,
Shankara? Why does it hurt you? Every race in the world has contributed
something. Every race has lived in different situations, different climates,
has evolved differently, has its own personality. Jews have their own
personality, and Jewish jokes are very essential to that personality. They know
how to laugh; they know how to laugh at themselves too. That is something
really beautiful. It is easy to laugh at others; the real laughter is when you
can laugh at yourself.
Question 6:
Beloved Master,
Sometimes when I hear you reading a
question my first reaction is, "What kind of a stupid question is
this?" don't you ever feel that way?
Prem Malik, once in a while...
for example, reading this question.
Question 7:
Beloved Master,
I would like to try experimenting with
alcohol a la Gurdjieff, except I am broke. Can I have an alcohol allowance?
Deva Shraddan, George Gurdjieff
would not have given you that experiment. That was given only to people who are
against alcohol! For example, if Morarji Desai had gone to George Gurdjieff,
then he would have forced him to drink alcohol - instead of his own urine! But
not for you.
So it is very difficult for me
to allow you an alcohol allowance - that would be against the spirit of George
Gurdjieff. He would never forgive me!
The essential core of the
experiment is to disturb you, to shatter you, to shatter your patterns, fixed
patterns. If you are desiring alcohol, then that is the LAST thing that is
going to shatter you. It will be fulfilling, it will not be shattering. Instead
of alcohol, start drinking the water of life!
"You know, you are the
first man I have met whose kisses make me sit up and open my eyes."
"Really?"
"Yes. Usually they have
the opposite effect."
With you, alcohol will not be
of any help; the water of life may have the right effect.
You may open your eyes and sit
up. And one thing more is good about it: you can be broke and still you can
enjoy it. No allowance is needed, so Laxmi need not worry about it. It gives
you total self-dependence.
One Saturday night George ended
up at a party in an unfamiliar apartment building.
He got very drunk and somehow
found his way home in the wee hours. When he woke up the next afternoon with a
terrible hangover, he realized that he had left his jacket, tie, shirt and
shoes at the party.
With much difficulty he found
the apartment building, but he had no idea which apartment he had been in. The
only thing he remembered about it was a magnificent gold toilet.
So he knocked at the first
apartment. The door was opened by a man with a hangover.
"Hello," said George.
"Did you have a party here last night?"
"We sure did!"
groaned the man.
"And do you have a gold
toilet?"
"A gold toilet? No, we
sure don't."
So George had to go to the next
door, and so on for three floors. Everyone was recovering from a party, but no
one knew anything about a gold toilet. By the time he got to the last
apartment, George was beginning to think he had imagined the gold toilet. The
door was opened by a man with a hangover.
"Uh, hello," said
George. "Did you have a party here last night?"
"We sure had a party
here!" groaned the man.
"And do you by any chance
have a gold toilet?"
There was a long silence.
Finally the man shouted back
over his shoulder, "Hey, Harry - here is the guy who shit in your
tuba!"
So, Shraddan, the allowance can
be allowed... but what about other people's tubas? You will create trouble. If
you listen to my advice, forget the whole idea. It is good that you are broke.
This is called a blessing in disguise. If you were not broke you would have
gone a la Gurdjieff, and that would have led you into more trouble.
Gurdjieff certainly forced
people to drink, but only the people who were against alcohol. He used to make
toasts every night for all the kinds of idiots in the world. He had twenty-six
categories of idiots. I don't know to which category you would belong, but you
must belong to some category. Unless you are awakened you are bound to belong
to some category or other.
An idiot is a person who is
trying to find joy where joy does not exist at all, who is trying to search for
something which he has never lost in the first place. The enlightened person is
one who has looked into his being before searching for anything anywhere else.
It is better to look in your own house. He has looked in and has found it
there. Now his search has disappeared.
The person who is interested in
alcohol must be living in misery, in a kind of suffering.
That's why he wants somehow to
forget it all. Alcohol is nothing but a chemical strategy to forget your
miseries, anxieties, your problems, to forget yourself.
My whole effort here, Shraddan,
is to help you to remember yourself - and you want to forget yourself. By
forgetting yourself you will be creating more and more hell for yourself and
for others. Remember, rather, remember yourself.
My methods are different from
George Gurdjieff's. I am not in favor of any alcoholic beverages. I am not in
favor of any psychedelic drugs either, because they all create illusory worlds
for you and they all are distractions. They make you more and more oblivious of
your own being, unaware of your own self.
My work is based in awareness.
The word 'awareness' is the golden key here, the master key. You have to learn
to be more aware. Howsoever painful it is in the beginning, be more aware,
because it is by becoming more aware that one day you will become part of the
celebration of the whole.
Aes Dhammo Sanantano - this is
the eternal inexhaustible law.
Enough for today.